I can't watch pbs sober anymore
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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