I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I'm experimenting with sincerity
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
