Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
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