You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Randomize
