can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
