Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
