recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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