No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
