I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize