He kissed a someone with a penis
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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