WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I'm always down for nudity.
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