Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
