I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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