also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
