absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
