He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Randomize
