hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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