okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
