also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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