he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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