I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
