I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
