my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
i black out too much to be "responsible"
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