peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
