This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
operation have a gay friend backfired
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
so much tequila, so little girl.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
