It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
