After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
