her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
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