We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
false alarm, still single
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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