I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
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