You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Randomize
