the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
