we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
