This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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