dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
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