The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Randomize
