Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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