she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
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