I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
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