Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
