i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
