you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
