I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
