After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
