Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize