You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
