i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Someone signed my nipple.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
