i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
