I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
