Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
