I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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