Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
