Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
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