Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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