We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
