like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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