hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
