I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Did I show you my penis last night?
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Randomize
