Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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