batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
