Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
