Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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