May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
