I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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