u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
