It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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