Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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